Don't Mess with the Zohan

For all you people who want to go see the Zohan movie...be warned...it's obsene, disgusting, weird, and hilarious at the same time.
Zohan(Adam Sandler) is a Israeli war guy working against this palestine guy called Phantom. He doesn't want to work in the army any more so he fakes his death, making the Phantom a hero. He moves to America and tries to get hired at the Paul Mitchell Hair Salon, but they make a joke of it. So instead he gets hired at a hair salon thats owned by a palestine woman. He starts out swepeing the floor, but really wants to make hair "silky smoothe" so when one of her stylists quits, he jumps at the chance. After a weird wash filled with tounges ears shampoo water and weirdness, he cuts and styles her hair. The next two peopel are his next clients but first he must "bang" his first lady. Weird? YES. So then he figures out that he's in love with the palestine woman because he cannot "sticky" with anyone else. She takes this oddly and avoids him. Then peopel figure out he's Zohan...did I mention he changed his name to "Skippy Coco" and gave himself a haircut?...and tell Phantom. Phantom comes to america to go to the hacky sack game. At the game Phantom and Zohan get "backstage" to see Mariah Carey. But then Zohan gets a phone call telling him about the's guy's who are setting the shops on the street where he cuts hair on fire. Then the phantom notices and says "You have bluetooth?" he says yes and Mariah goes "I can never figure that bluetooth thing out." then Zohan/Skippy Coco starts to explain then realizing that he must go save the day or whatever, he tells Phantom to tell her how it works...this is one of my favorite parts...so Phantom asks if she uses PC or Mac, she looks at her people who say "Mac." He says "Do you have myspace?" she says something about her record company doing it, not her but technically yes. So he bows and says "Add me." haha. Then Phantom goes to the street with the fire stuff going on and he tries to beat up the fire, but then Zohan sees and says that he needs help. He goes into a food place across the street and grabs a giant thing of Hummus...hummus is a big part of the movie he even brushes his teeth with it...and puts the fire out with it. Then Phantom is all like why'd you help me and stuff like that. Then the Zohan figures out that the Palestine woman whos name I can't remember is Phantom's sister and Phantom isn't even his real name. It's like Phatoosh or something. So then the crazy redneck who started the fires comes in holding a bomb and a cage full of puppies. Zohan puts on his weird glasses and sees stuff about him like: name:don't remember age:37? i think hates: israel palestine mexicans blacks whites yellows etc etc puppies and sunsets on the beach. Likes: somethingevil 1 something evil 2 etc etc etc. So the Phantom is telling him how he hates that Zohan got to come out to America and live his dream and how Phantom wants to become a shoe salesman. Because he LOVES shoes! Then the redneck dude is about to blow the bomb when Zohan and Phantom decide they must make "the sound" and then argue about who does the melody and the harmony and blah. So then they make it the bomb breaks and the redneck guy is flown into some upper floor apartment where a bunch of guys are all together and one hits on him and then the pupies fly through the window and land on the couch and they all swarm over saying "PUPPIES!!!". Then the guy who's really behind it all comes with police cars and news reporters and stuff, but "The Sound" pops his girlfriends boobs...weird I know...and he goes to jail. Then some guy is on the news saying "Mariah Carey, I love you I want to ***********" and then it cuts to mariah saying "I love you to little horny man! Buy my new CD!" haha. Then they are all happy and stuff. A mall is made, they all have stores i it the palestine woman gets her new fancy hair salon and the Zohan and her are married. His parent's come to the salon and are proud of him and everything works out. But it's still disgustingly hilarious.


~Emilee